I Like to Make Up Words

You ever eat an entire bag of chips?  I did once.  Wait, that was just now.  I also consumed a crapload of sour cream in the process.  (Hey, blog editor text box, why did you underline crapload?  There!  You did it again!  Jerk!)

They were the baked kind, though, so that's somewhat healthy, right?  While I was purchasing said chips, I was also carrying some pants hangers and some soda (that's right, soda, not pop).  I wondered what this said about me as a person to other observers.  Since I'm sometimes hyper-aware and insecure, I took this to the next illogical leap:  if you are in a new relationship, you should go to the store with this person and buy three items.  You should have decided in advance what these three items are.  Be as generic as possible.  Don't say "Archer Farms Black Pepper and Sea Salt Baked Potato Crisps."  Say "chips."

Why this will lead to hilarity (in my eyes, at least) later on is because you and your potential mate will either gel or not gel in your shopping styles.  Again, don't shop for clothes.  Shop for food.  You need food.  You will buy food regularly.  This is something that will set the stage for the future of your relationship.  By the way, unless you're a real masochist, your first date should not be at Target.

Pick three items, like I said.  Here are the three that I spotted and so purchased:

Pants hangers
Dr. Pepper 12-pack
The aforementioned bag of chips

If we were to genericize (I like to make up words) this list, it would consist of hangers, soda, and chips.  Simple enough, right?

Okay, I'm straying from the point.  I do this often.  What you'll want to observe in your potential mate during this time is how their shopping style compares to yours.  Do they walk at the same speed as you?  Do they get distracted easily from the mission?  Do you?  Does this matter to you?  Will this matter to you later on?  Imagine doing this during a more stressful time, like during 0800 on the day after Thanksgiving in a strange town.  The time will come.

I'm running out of mental brainpower (bring on the jokes at my expense, friends!) and so I'm going to leave the rest of this to your imagination or/and comments.